Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays (When Everyone Else Seems Busy)

The holidays can be loud, social, and full of togethernesswhich can make loneliness feel even sharper.

If youre spending this season alone (or feeling alone even when youre around people), youre not the only one. Loneliness is common, especially during times that are supposed to look a certain way.

This article offers gentle, practical ways to cope with loneliness during the holidayswithout forcing yourself to be positive or pretending it doesnt hurt.

What holiday loneliness can feel like

Loneliness isnt just being physically alone. It can look like:

• Feeling invisible or disconnected
• Watching others celebrate and feeling left out
• Missing someone who isnt here anymore
• Feeling like you dont have a place to belong
• Feeling tired of being the one who reaches out
• Feeling numb, tearful, or irritable

If this resonates, it doesnt mean theres something wrong with you. It means youre humanand youre needing connection.

Why the holidays can amplify loneliness

A few common reasons:

• Grief and loss (a death, a breakup, a move, a strained relationship)
• Family estrangement or complicated family dynamics
• Life transitions (new parenthood, divorce, retirement, immigration)
• Social comparison (seeing highlight reels online)
• Less routine (work schedules change, fewer everyday interactions)

Loneliness isnt a personal failure. Its often a signal: I need support.

1) Name what youre actually missing

Loneliness can be vague and heavy. Getting specific can make it more workable.

Ask yourself:

• Am I missing a person?
• Am I missing a role (partner, parent, friend group)?
• Am I missing a feeling (being chosen, being understood, being safe)?
• Am I missing community?

When you name the need, you can choose a response that fits.

2) Create micro-connection (small counts)

When youre lonely, your brain may tell you connection has to be biga party, a perfect friend group, a full calendar.

But small connection matters.

Try one of these:

• Send one text: Thinking of you. How are you doing today?
• Call someone safe for 10 minutes
• Join a community event (library, church, community centre)
• Attend a support group or group therapy
• Make eye contact and say hello on a walk

The goal isnt to fix everything. Its to remind your nervous system: Im not completely alone.

3) Plan your days so the emptiness doesnt take over

Unstructured time can make loneliness louder.

A gentle plan can include:

• One anchor activity in the morning (walk, coffee, journaling)
• One connection point (text/call/event)
• One comfort activity (movie, baking, music, bath)
• One future action (something that supports January-you)

Even a simple structure can reduce the spiral.

4) Be mindful of social media (comparison is a loneliness amplifier)

If scrolling leaves you feeling worse, its okay to set limits.

Options:

• Take a 24-hour break
• Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison
• Replace scrolling with something that actually soothes you

Youre allowed to protect your mind.

5) Make space for grief (without letting it swallow you)

If your loneliness is tied to loss, you dont have to move on to get through the holidays.

Try a small ritual:

• Light a candle
• Write a letter to the person you miss
• Cook a meal they loved
• Visit a meaningful place
• Play a song that connects you

Grief is love with nowhere to go. Giving it a place can help.

6) If being with people feels hard, choose safe enough

Sometimes loneliness comes with anxiety or shame, and socializing can feel exhausting.

Consider safe enough options:

• A short visit instead of a long gathering
• One-on-one time instead of a big group
• An activity-based hangout (walk, coffee, skating)

You dont have to force yourself into situations that feel unsafe.

7) When loneliness becomes heavy: know when to reach for support

If youre noticing hopelessness, panic, shutdown, or thoughts of self-harm, you deserve support right away.

In Ontario, you can call or text 9-8-8 for immediate, free support (Suicide Crisis Helpline).

If youre in immediate danger, call 911.

Therapy support in Ontario (English & French)

If loneliness is a pattern for youor this season is bringing up grief, anxiety, or a sense of disconnectiontherapy can help.

At Bien-eatre Counselling, we offer therapy in Ontario in English and French, available in-person, virtual, and by phone.

Youre welcome to book a free 20-minute telephone consultation to find the right fit.

To get started: https://bienetrecounselling.ca