Thanksgiving and Mental Health: Navigating Family, Stress, and Expectations

Thanksgiving is often pictured as a joyful celebration—family gathered around the table, laughter, gratitude, and warmth. But for many in Ontario, the holiday season can also bring a mix of emotions: joy mingled with stress, grief, family tension, loneliness, or even overwhelm. If you’re feeling more anxious than excited this Thanksgiving, you’re not alone.

At Bien-être Counselling, we believe every feeling has a place at the holiday table. Here’s how you can care for your mental health during Thanksgiving—whether you’re surrounded by family, spending time alone, or somewhere in between.

It’s Okay to Feel More Than Just Grateful

The pressure to “be grateful” or to have a perfect holiday can make it hard to acknowledge what you’re really feeling. Maybe you’re grieving someone who’s missing this year. Maybe family dynamics are complicated, or you’re feeling stretched thin by expectations and preparations. Maybe you’re dreading difficult conversations, or you simply don’t feel up to celebrating.

All of these feelings are valid. Thanksgiving, like any holiday, can bring up old wounds or highlight what’s changed. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel—without judgment.

Coping with Family Stress and Setting Boundaries

Family gatherings can be a source of comfort, but they can also trigger stress, conflict, or old patterns. Here are some practical strategies for managing boundaries and expectations:

1. Clarify Your Limits in Advance

‍Decide what you’re comfortable with—how long you’ll stay, what topics are off-limits, or how much you want to share. It’s okay to leave early, take breaks, or step outside for fresh air.

2. Practice Gentle Scripts

‍If you need to set a boundary or change the subject, try:

• “I’d rather not talk about that today.”
• “Let’s focus on enjoying this meal together.”
• “I need a quick break—be right back.”

3. Have an Exit Plan

‍If things get tense, it’s okay to excuse yourself. Arrange a signal with a supportive family member, or give yourself permission to leave when you need to.

4. Remember, “No” is a Complete Sentence

‍You don’t have to explain or justify every boundary. Protecting your well-being is reason enough.

Navigating Loneliness, Grief, or Change

If you’re spending Thanksgiving alone, missing someone, or facing a holiday that looks different this year, know that your experience matters.

• Create your own ritual: a favorite meal, a walk in nature, or a call with a friend.
• Acknowledge who or what you’re missing—write a letter, light a candle, or share a memory.
• Consider volunteering or reaching out to others—connection can take many forms.

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential

Taking care of your mental health during the holidays is not only allowed—it’s necessary.

• Schedule downtime before or after gatherings.
• Prioritize sleep, movement, and nourishing food.
• Limit alcohol or anything that makes you feel worse.
• Give yourself permission to say “no” to extra obligations.

Affirming Scripts for the Season

Sometimes, having the right words helps. Here are a few affirmations and scripts to support you:

• “I can choose what’s right for me this holiday.”
• “It’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time.”
• “I am allowed to set boundaries, even with family.”
• “Taking care of myself helps me show up for others, too.”

You’re Not Alone

If Thanksgiving feels heavy this year, you’re not failing. You’re human. At Bien-être Counselling, we’re here to support you—whether you need to process complex feelings, strengthen boundaries, or simply talk things through.

Ready for support? Book a free 20-minute consultation: Contact Bien-être Counselling or call (613) 670-6602

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