Supporting Children and Teens with Mental Health Struggles: Practical Steps for Parents in Ontario

When a child or teen is struggling with their mental health, parents often feel a mix of concern, confusion, and urgency. You might notice changes—withdrawal, irritability, sleep issues, school avoidance—or you may simply sense that something is “off.” You’re not alone. Many families in Ontario face these challenges, and with the right support, children and teens can heal, build resilience, and thrive. This guide offers clear, practical steps to help you understand what’s going on, respond with confidence, and access the support your family needs.

What mental health struggles can look like

Children and teens express distress in different ways. Not every sign means a diagnosable condition, but patterns matter.

Younger children (approx. 4–10)

• Emotional: frequent tears, tantrums, irritability, fears, separation anxiety
• Physical: stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping, new bedwetting
• Behavioural: regression (clinginess, baby talk), school refusal, aggression, somatic complaints

Pre-teens and teens (11–18)

• Emotional: low mood, anxiety, irritability, hopelessness, guilt, feeling “numb”
• Physical: sleep changes, fatigue, appetite shifts, psychosomatic pain
• Behavioural: withdrawal from friends/activities, drop in grades, risk-taking, substance experimentation, self-harm talk or behaviour

Red flags that need prompt attention at any age

• Persistent school refusal beyond two weeks
• Talk of self-harm or suicide, or giving away belongings
• Significant changes in sleep/appetite/energy for more than two weeks
• Panic attacks, severe separation anxiety, or traumatic stress symptoms If you’re worried about safety, seek immediate help (emergency services or local crisis lines).

How parents can respond: a step-by-step approach

1. Start with connection before correction Create calm, low-pressure moments—on a walk, during a drive, before bedtime. Use open, non-judgmental questions:

• “How have things been feeling for you lately?”
• “What’s felt hardest at school or with friends?” Reflect and validate:
• “That sounds really tough. Thank you for telling me.”
• “Your feelings make sense. You’re not alone in this.”

2. Name what you notice (gently) Describe patterns without blame:

• “I’ve noticed you’re not sleeping well and you’ve been skipping soccer. I wonder if you’ve been feeling more anxious or down?” Normalize help-seeking:
• “Lots of kids feel this way sometimes. We can figure this out together.”

3. Stabilize the basics (sleep, food, movement, routines) Mental health is supported by predictable rhythms:

• Consistent sleep and wake times, a calming wind-down routine (no phones 30–60 minutes before bed)
• Regular meals and hydration
• Daily movement—walks, biking, sports, or simple stretching
• Screen-time boundaries, especially for late-night scrolling or stressful group chats

4. Teach simple coping tools (and practise together)

• Paced breathing: inhale 4, exhale 6 (2–5 minutes)
• Grounding: 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
• Thought labeling: “This is an anxious thought, not a fact”
• Micro-breaks: 60-second reset between tasks; short mindfulness audio Model these skills—kids learn by watching you.

5. Coordinate with school (and coaches or community leaders)

• Share concerns with a trusted teacher, guidance counsellor, or administrator
• Ask about supports: quiet spaces, check-ins, modified workloads, safe adults
• If bullying or peer conflict is present, document and collaborate on a safety plan Keep communication factual, brief, and consistent.

6. Adjust expectations and prioritize well-being During tough periods, reduce nonessential demands. Celebrate effort over outcomes:

• “I’m proud you went to first period today.”
• “You used your breathing strategy—great job.”

7. Involve community resources

• Youth groups, mentorship, sports, arts, faith communities
• Ontario-specific resources (e.g., Kids Help Phone, school-based mental health programs)

When to seek professional helpConsider counselling when:

• Symptoms persist beyond a few weeks or interfere with daily life (sleep, school, friendships)
• There are safety concerns (self-harm talk/behaviour, substance risks, severe anxiety or depression)
• Family conflict has escalated, or you feel stuck and unsure how to help

What therapy can look like (and what works)

Evidence-based approaches we often use at Bien-être Counselling:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy): builds skills to challenge unhelpful thoughts and behaviours
• Play therapy and creative modalities: ideal for younger children to express feelings safely
• Emotion regulation and mindfulness: practical tools for anxiety, anger, and stress
• Trauma-informed approaches (including EMDR for appropriate cases): process distressing memories and restore a sense of safety
• Parent coaching: support for routines, boundaries, communication, and school collaboration Therapy can be in-person or virtual across Ontario; both are effective when matched to your child’s needs and preferences.

How to support your child between sessions

• Keep routines steady; protect sleep
• Practise coping skills together in calm moments
• Use brief check-ins (“How’s your mood 0–10 today?”)
• Limit “problem talks” to bounded times; make space for joy and play
• Celebrate small wins; progress isn’t linear

Caring for yourself matters

Your steadiness is a powerful protective factor. Tend to your own sleep, movement, nourishment, and connection. Consider your own counselling if you’re overwhelmed—caring for yourself is caring for your child.

Local and Ontario context

Families in Rockland, Ottawa, and across Ontario can access support in English and French. If in-person isn’t feasible, secure virtual sessions remove barriers while maintaining continuity with school schedules and family life.

Conclusion and next steps

Supporting a child or teen through mental health struggles is not about having perfect answers—it’s about steady presence, practical tools, and the right team around you. With connection, routines, coping skills, and professional care when needed, young people can regain confidence and well-being.

If you’re ready for support, Bien-être Counselling offers timely, bilingual counselling for children, teens, and families—virtual across Ontario and in-person in Rockland.