Understanding and Addressing Bullying: How Parents Can Support Their Children

Bullying is more than occasional unkindness. It’s repeated, intentional behaviour—verbal, physical, relational, or digital—that harms, humiliates, or excludes a child. It can happen anywhere: in classrooms and hallways, on the bus, at recess, during extracurriculars, and increasingly online through social media, messaging apps, and gaming platforms. For many families, bullying is a painful reality that affects a child’s sense of safety, self-worth, and mental health. If you’re worried your child may be dealing with bullying, you’re not alone—and there are compassionate, practical steps you can take to support them. At Bien-Être Counselling in Rockland, Ontario, we help parents and children navigate these challenges with warmth, clarity, and evidence-informed care.

Signs of Bullying

Bullying rarely begins with a clear confession. More often, it shows up in shifts—small changes in mood, behaviour, or routine that add up. Emotional signs can include increased anxiety, irritability, tearfulness, or sudden sensitivity to criticism. Children might seem on edge on school nights, dread Sunday evenings, or become unusually quiet after being online. Behavioural signs often involve withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed, reluctance or refusal to go to school, asking for frequent pickups, or changing their routes and routines to avoid certain peers. You might notice they’re guarding their phone, deleting messages quickly, or avoiding group chats.

Physical signs can be more visible

unexplained bruises or scratches, damaged or missing belongings, headaches, stomachaches, changes in sleep, or a drop in appetite. Academic changes—difficulty concentrating, slipping grades, or incomplete work—may also signal distress. Social signs include isolation, sudden friendship changes, or being left out of gatherings. If your child uses phrases like “They were just joking” while looking upset, or if they seem embarrassed or guilty about something that happened online, take that seriously. None of these signs prove bullying on their own, but a pattern is meaningful. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it’s worth exploring gently and without judgment.

The Impact of Bullying

In the short term, bullying can lead to heightened stress, sleep problems, school avoidance, and drops in confidence. Children may internalize blame, believing they are at fault or “not good enough,” which can fuel shame and social anxiety. Over time, unaddressed bullying is linked to increased risk of depression, chronic anxiety, self-esteem challenges, and persistent academic difficulties. It can also shape how young people view relationships—normalizing disrespect, emotional withdrawal, or self-silencing to avoid conflict.

Conversely, early, compassionate intervention protects mental health. When children feel seen, believed, and supported, they’re more likely to recover, maintain healthy friendships, and develop adaptive coping skills. Families and schools play a crucial role in turning the tide.

How Parents Can Support Their Children: Practical Steps That Help

Start with listening. Create a calm, private moment—perhaps during a drive, a walk, or bedtime—when your child is more likely to open up. Ask gentle, open questions: “How are things going with friends lately?” “What feels hardest about school right now?” If they share an experience, resist the urge to immediately problem-solve or contact the other family. Begin by validating: “Thank you for telling me. I’m really glad you shared this with me. I can see how upsetting that was. You’re not alone; we’ll handle this together.”

Help your child name what’s happening. Many kids minimize bullying as “just teasing.” You can reflect the difference between playful joking and repeated, targeted behaviour that hurts. Reassure them that it’s not their fault and that asking for help is strong.

Together, plan for safety. Identify trusted adults at school—teachers, the principal, a guidance counsellor, a coach—who can intervene and monitor spaces where incidents occur (hallways, lockers, recess, bus lines, or online learning platforms). Clarify safe routes to class, and consider buddy systems for transitions. Practise brief, assertive scripts they can use in the moment, such as “That’s not okay. Stop,” or “I’m leaving now,” followed by walking toward an adult or supportive peer. For some children, a nonverbal plan (moving to a designated area; texting a parent using a code word) is more realistic.

At home, strengthen resilience in everyday ways. Consistent routines—sleep, nutrition, movement—help regulate stress. Encourage activities that build confidence and connection (music, sports, art, clubs). Teach simple coping tools: paced breathing, grounding (name five things you can see, four you can feel…), and brief mindfulness moments that reduce the intensity of strong emotions. Praise effort and character (“I noticed how you spoke up to me about this” or “I saw how you took a break and then tried again”), not just outcomes.

When and How to Involve the School or Community

Bullying is a school safety issue, not just a personal conflict. Document incidents with dates, times, locations, screenshots, or photos of damaged items. Share factual, concise reports with the school and ask about their bullying prevention and response procedures. Partner with educators; most want to help and can coordinate supervision, seating plans, and supportive check-ins. If cyberbullying is involved, preserve evidence, adjust privacy settings, block/report offending accounts, and consider scheduled breaks from specific apps or group chats.

If the situation continues or escalates, request a meeting to develop a clear action plan. Involve guidance counsellors or child and youth workers if available. In cases of threats, hate speech, or assault, follow school protocols and consider contacting local authorities. Community resources—parent groups, youth programs, and child-focused organizations—can also provide skills training and social connection.

When to Seek Professional Help

Consider therapy when anxiety, sadness, sleep problems, school refusal, or trauma symptoms persist, when your child is reliving experiences (nightmares, intrusive thoughts), or when confidence and daily functioning are significantly affected. Counselling provides a safe space to process emotions, build coping strategies, and restore a sense of safety and self-worth. At Bien-Être Counselling, our experienced therapists offer timely, bilingual services (English and French), including evidence-based approaches like CBT for anxiety, emotion regulation skills, and parent coaching to support communication and advocacy with schools. We see children, teens, and families in Rockland and across Ontario through virtual and in-person sessions.

Encouraging Skills That Last

Beyond resolving immediate concerns, focus on long-term skills: assertive communication, boundary-setting, identifying safe adults, and nurturing compassion for self and others. Help your child differentiate between healthy and unhealthy peer dynamics. Model what respect looks like at home, and talk about media literacy—how to handle group chats, privacy, and digital citizenship. Empowerment grows when children feel they have tools and allies.

Conclusion and Next Steps

Bullying is preventable and addressable—and you don’t have to navigate it alone. By noticing the signs early, listening with care, partnering with the school, and reinforcing coping skills at home, you can protect your child’s mental health and rebuild their confidence. If your family needs added support, we’re here to help.

For compassionate, evidence-informed bullying support for parents and children, visit Bien-Être Counselling or book a free 20-minute consultation. Together, we can create a plan that restores safety, confidence, and calm.